Billith’s Fire

•April 18, 2013 • Leave a Comment

Billith's Fire

Source: PamDBeaufort

True Blood Return: The Beginning of the End?

•April 18, 2013 • Leave a Comment

True Blood Season 6 is returning June 16 and I know all of you breathers can’t wait to sink your fangs into a new season of sex, blood and of course, vampires.

I’ve never really been fond of listening to idle entertainment gossip and rumors. In fact, on any given day, you are more likely to find me reading Dear Abby over anything else. That being said, apparently there is a rumor spreading through the social media networks about my Maker meeting his end.

Before you breathers get your panties in a bunch, allow me a moment to make a few points:

The source of these rumors stems from a certain were’s alter ego having an interview where he states “We’re getting to the point in the season now where people are starting to die. The table reads are starting to get smaller, and I’m sure they will continue to do that.”

WerewolffinaleAnyone who has ever had dealings with weres of any kind can tell you these flea-ridden creatures can not be trusted. Not only are they foul smelling, but they will state anything to get humans all up in arms about vampires. To say they envious us vampires who are superior in every way, would be an understatement. But for you humans who find it harder to keep up, let me dissect this comment and help you see the truth.

We’re getting to the point in the season now where people are starting to die.

Really? People die? On True Blood? No! Color me confused, but how is this news to any one who has watched at least one season?

They are getting further along in the production of the six season. As with every previous season, they will introduce a ton of new characters, most of which will not live to see the finale. Let alone stand a chance at continuing past this season.

Prime example: The Authority

S5VAuthority

Now, let’s see: Out of the original Authority members, how many survived past the season 5 finale? That’s right, only my Maker’s long lost sister that he “conveniently” forgot to ever mention in our decades together.

Anyways, I digress. Based on the past seasons and how the cast always seems to dwindle down by the end of the season, it can be fair to say “The table reads are starting to get smaller, and I’m sure they will continue to do that.” is such an obvious statement.

So breathers, pets and truebies, don’t go crying in your pillows over the death of my Maker. He has been dead for over 1,000 years and he will not be meeting the True Death, any time in the near future.

Now, if only we could find a way to kill off that annoying Billith. Blood looks good on a vampire, but someone please get that vamp some clothes.

We’ll Meet Again Clip: Congrats?

•July 1, 2012 • Leave a Comment

It seems Pam and Tara have decided to play all nicey nice, but Eric and Bill’s return seems to have dampened the celebratory mood. With their relationship already on the rocks, the mystery of who free Russell Edgington hanging over their head, the Authority breathing (figuratively, of course) down their backs and Pam’s new Childe, it’s hard to see Pam and Eric returning to the kind of relationship we had come to expect, any time soon.

Should Eric be mad at Pam or is worrying about Russell more important? Who do you think freed Russell?

True Blood‘s We’ll Meet Again airs tonight at 9/8c!

via We’ll Meet Again Clip: Congrats?.

Eric isn’t going to be thrilled to be a grandfather. Unfortunately, he’s become an unbearable uptight asshole since his bromance with Bill began. Truly, I blame Sookie and her stupid super snatch for all this mess. After all, without her, I would have my Maker back.

Earning One

•June 21, 2012 • Leave a Comment

I never thought I would ever find myself being comforted by Ginger. After all, she’s just another of the human staff. She’s not even the brightest of the bunch and yet, there I was crying as she hugged me.

Eric and I have been together for over 100 years and while I have seen him go after countless women, I have never felt pushed aside by his prospects. Hell, usually we make a game out of seeing who can land the blood bag in bed first. Something I’ve managed to beat him in, numerous times. But now, because of her..

I have never had much interest in the humans around us. I wouldn’t say I hated them, just more indifferent. After all, they can be amusing and they are tasty enough, though I will always prefer a fairy over a human.

But when it comes to Sookie fucking Stackhouse, I must admit I hate her, her fairy vagina and her incredibly stupid name.

That’s right. I said it.

Fuck, Sookie Stackhouse.

I only went to her Eric’s house to find him, to apologize. After years of being by his side, this feeling within just tears away at my dead unbeating heart. I feel like I am losing him and I will do anything in my power to fix whatever has gone wrong between us.

“Eric, we need to talk.”

“Pam?”

I was surprised as I noticed the scent of werewolf and blood filled the kitchen as I followed the sound of Sookie’s voice. Noting the bloodied remains of what I believe was a woman, I couldn’t help but feel the smirk pulling at my lips.

“Color me impressed. You guys know how to party.”

Sookie and Lafayette were gathered around the unmoving of the annoying bitch who dared to point that stupid gun at me. Tara, I think her name is?

“Eric’s not here. Get out of my house.”

I hated the way her voice was filled with indignation and it was that pushed me to correct her on exactly whose house this was.

“You mean Eric’s house?”

It didn’t take a genius to piece together what had happened, but honestly, I didn’t care. Once Sookie started running off at the mouth, I could feel the anger within me rising. Honestly, her tears did nothing to phase me. Why would I care anything about the pathetic dead human in her arms? I was there for a reason and that was to see Eric. As she informed me Eric wasn’t there, I couldn’t help but feel the pit forming within me and I felt that sense of loss return to me once more.

“If you see Eric, tell him I’m sorry.”

As I turned to leave, I was surprised to hear that fry cook’s voice call out.

“Hold up, hold up. Turn her for us.”

In that moment, the telepath and I must have had identical expressions. For she seemed as shocked by his request as I was. He wanted me to turn her?

I had wanted to do many things to her while she had been alive: torture her, scare her, hell, I’d have not have been opposed to fucking her before I ending it all by eating her for dinner and leaving her lifeless body to rot in a shallow grave. But to turn her? I had only turned one person in my existence as a vampire and that hadn’t exactly turned out well. But here I was, in the fairy princess’ kitchen being asked to turn the one human whom I would much rather drain than bring over?

“Turn her? I don’t even like her.”

As the two argued over the request, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. It was obvious the girl was dead. There were only two heartbeats present and I couldn’t sense even the faintest sense of life within the corpse.

“I can’t be the only one who’s noticed she’s missing half her head, now can I?” Then another thought came to mind and I had the urge to roll my eyes at the sight of their reactions as I asked, “Even if I try, what’s to say she won’t rise up out of the ground tomorrow night, completely and utterly fucktarded?”

Shaking my head, I was over the situation. I was prepared to let the two wallow in their misery and I turned once more, until Sookie spoke up.

“I’ll owe you one.”

This, of course, peaked my interest. A million possibilities ran through my mind as I considered all the ways Sookie could fulfill this promise. After all, Eric and Bill had found her to be somewhat useful. Surely, she could be of some use to me?

“If you can use your magic hands or super snatch or whatever power you have over Eric, to fix whatever’s broken between us and you’ll still owe me one? You’ve got yourself a deal.”

I couldn’t believe I was lowering myself to be persuaded into turning a human I didn’t even like. But in that moment, I was desperate to fix things between my Maker and I and by being in the good graces of Sookie, I could earn my way back into Eric’s good graces.

As I bit into my wrist and allowed the blood to flow into Tara’s open mouth, I didn’t expect things could get worse. That is until Sookie presented me with what I was to wear to ground.

Seriously? Here I am going to ground in a Walmart sweat suit with daisies and kittens printed on it? And to make my night complete? I get to hold onto the foul-smelling corpse as I die for the day. I don’t know if this whole thing worked out, but Sookie doesn’t know that when she says she owes me one, she owes me big time.

Kristin Bauer NOH8

•June 20, 2012 • Leave a Comment

Kristin Bauer van Straten Entertainment Weekly Shot

•June 20, 2012 • Leave a Comment

When things start to get rough

•June 17, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Eric Leif NorthmanPamela Ravenscroft

Characters: Eric Leif Northman, Pamela Ravenscroft and Ginger
Place: @BarFangtasia
Summary: Pam stole Leif’s credit card and went on a shopping spree for almost two weeks. Leif calls her and summons her to @BarFangtasia immediately.

#1

@LeifNorthman
-finds his cell phone under a stack of papers and texts @PamLRavenscroft- Where have you been hiding? -adds an emoticon- >( -sends-

@PamLRavenscroft
-notices the text and chuckles as she replies- Wearing out your credit cards -adding her own emoticon- 😀 @LeifNorthman

@LeifNorthman
-hears the cell phone vibrating, reading @PamLRavenscroft text, replies- PAMELA, I do not own @BarFangtasia alone, get your ass here NOW! -sends a second message- And bring my fucking credit cards back!

@LeifNorthman
-chuckles as he draws with the cell phone symbols, sends it to @PamLRavenscroft- 8==D (_o_)

@PamLRavenscroft
-rolls her eyes and slips out of her heels, thinking it’s a nice might for a run and sprints to @BarFangtasia. Smoothing her hair and sliding on her heels before entering through the back and heading to his office- You rang?

@LeifNorthman

-bounces up and down in his chair- @PamLRavenscroft Check your phone! Check your phone and give me my credit cards -shoots her a stern look-

@PamLRavenscroft
-quirks a brow in amusement as he bounces in his chair before glancing down at the small screen of her phone and chuckles- Someone’s become technically savvy, I see. -flashing his credit cards- These cards? -a smirk playing at her lips-

@LeifNorthman
-arches an eyebrow at @PamLRavenscroft- I was just playing with the symbols. I am quite the artist, am I not? -chuckles and vampspeeds, grabbing his credit cards back from her hand and leaning back into the wall behind her- You are such a child… -shakes his head- I should punish you-

@PamLRavenscroft
-turns to face him, a hand going to her hip- A child? What about me resembles a child? -narrows her eyes- Punish me for what?

@LeifNorthman
Yes, a three years old child! -grumbles- Stealing my credit cards, of course! Vanishing for I don’t know how many days! -eyes her as he paces around the office- What should I do with you? I am deeply hurt… -fakes a sad face-

@PamLRavenscroft
-eyes follow @LeifNorthman’s every movement- Well, since I’m a three year old and you just took away my toys, I would say that is punishment befitting my actions -smirks-

@LeifNorthman
Such a smartass… @PamLRavenscroft Go to the bar area and enthrall the vermin, do your job! -puts the credit cards back into his wallet-

@PamLRavenscroft
-turns on her heel, plotting to steal @LeifNorthman’s credit cards again before the night is over and makes her way into the bar, sneering at the assorted collection of humans gathered in their establishment as she slides into a booth-

@LeifNorthman
-speaks to himself as soon as @PamLRavenscroft leaves the office- I doubt she will ever change -slides the wallet back into his pocket, sits in the chair and kick his feet up on the desk- Coming to think of it I do not know If I trully want her to change…

@PamLRavenscroft
-face settles into its usual bored expression as she rolls her eyes at one of the cadets from Barksdale Air Force Base, fangs at the cadet and smirks- I highly doubt you have the proper equipment to suit my needs -waving him off- Scurry on.

@LeifNorthman
-smirks, staring at the ceiling, his mind wanders back to their first days together and how @PamLRavenscroft learned everything in a blink, how bloodthirsty she was and how much she enjoyed sex- All the time, all the fucking time…

@PamLRavenscroft
-thinks if @LeifNorthman continues to insist on calling her a child, she will begin to call him “Daddeh”, to amuse herself and annoy him-

@LeifNorthman
-waves his thoughts away, trying to focus on all the paper work he still has to take care of and sighs deeply-

@PamLRavenscroft
-growls lightly, startling the cadet as she feels a sense of lust through their bond. A smirk curling her lips as the boy rushes back to his group of friends, rises smoothly from her seat and appears in @LeifNorthman’s doorway, tapping lightly against the wood grain-

@LeifNorthman
-raises his head, looking to the side, spots @PamLRavenscroft’s in his doorway- Let me guess…. bored already? -arches an eyebrow-

@PamLRavenscroft
-leans against the doorway with her arms folded across her chest, shrugging slightly- I hoped for more entertaining company.

@LeifNorthman
Mmm..? Meaning what exactly, @PamLRavenscroft? -backs against his chair turns it towards her direction-

@PamLRavenscroft
-runs her tongue along one of her fangs as her eyes gaze over @LeifNorthman- I’m sure you could prove to be more entertaining than the vermin in the bar. -smirks and quirks a brow- If you think you are up for that challenge.

@LeifNorthman
-laughs softly and shakes his head- You sensed it, didn’t you?

@PamLRavenscroft
-smirks and arches a brow- Sensed what, @LeifNorthman? -batting her eyelashes innocently-

@LeifNorthman
You may fool all the supernatural and human beings in the world, but me @PamLRavenscroft.. -points to the stack of paper work- I am SO bored!

@PamLRavenscroft
-fakes a pout and takes a step into @LeifNorthman’s office, pushing the door closed with one of her heels- Well, we mustn’t have that.

@LeifNorthman
Is that so? -pushes the chair to the corner of his office with his feet, far from @PamLRavenscroft- On the other hand, we must work…

@PamLRavenscroft
-vampspeeds around his desk, perching against the edge of it- If you insist we work, @LeifNorthman, I’ll return to work.

@LeifNorthman
I do, I insist… -he speaks, revealing two fully extended fangs-

@PamLRavenscroft
-smirks as she sees @LeifNorthman’s fangs extend- Very well. -pushing off the desk, she turns around and bends down to grab the stack of paperwork, feeling her skirt rising up as she does- Work it is.

@LeifNorthman
-repeats after @PamLRavenscroft- “Work it is” -reaches up and grabs her ass as she bends over, slapping it once, watching it boucing-

@PamLRavenscroft
-hisses as she feels @LeifNorthman’s hand- Keep that up and we won’t get any work done -grabbing for the few sheets that scattered when he smacked her ass- Why don’t we have a human to do paperwork? Surely they can’t mess that up?

@LeifNorthman
You know I do not trust humans, @PamLRavenscroft -gets closer to her and sinks his fangs into her ass, retracting them, then sinking them again into the other side of it, growls-

@PamLRavenscroft
-growls and drops the stack of papers back onto @LeifNorthman’s desk, the papers scattering across its top and falling onto the floor, her hands pressing firmly against the desk- You better not get blood on my skirt. It’s new.

@LeifNorthman
-growls a “shut up” and buries his head between @PamLRavenscroft’s ass cheeks, ripping her panties off with his teeth and circling her asshole with the tip of his tongue, backs away for a moment- You will get what you came in looking for and more.

@PamLRavenscroft
-arching her back, her fangs digging into her lip as she cast a lustful glance over her shoulder, her pussy dripping with excitement as she locks her gaze with @LeifNorthman’s-

@LeifNorthman
-unbuttons and unzips his pants, pulling out his hardened cock, giving it a few strokes, before sliding it over @PamLRavenscroft’s pussy for lubrication, then forcing it into her drooled asshole, gripping her hair and twisting it around his arm-

@PamLRavenscroft
-hisses as @LeifNorthman fills her. Turned on further from the pain, she pushes back against him, forcing him even deeper into her-

@LeifNorthman
-raises his arm up to his head, @PamLRavenscroft’s neck being pulling up to his mouth, he sinks his fangs in, drinking her blood this time as he starts thrusting deep and forcefully into her asshole, low growls come out of his throat-

@PamLRavenscroft
-growls as @LeifNorthman pulls her up by her hair, losing herself in the pain and pleasure as he fucks her, each pull of his lips exciting her more-

@LeifNorthman
-he takes big gulps of @PamLRavenscroft’s blood, the taste making him lose himself in the moment, he increases his pace, guiding her hand down to her clit, whispering between his moans- Touch yourself, Pamela. Do it, slut.

@PamLRavenscroft
-moans as her fingers brush against her clit, circling it and rubbing it as she pushes her hips back to meet @LeifNorthman’s, before plunging two fingers into her wet pussy-

@LeifNorthman
-he manages to say something that resembled “Good girl” as @PamLRavenscroft obediently masturbates and plays with her pussy, he feels his orgasm close, retracts his fangs, her wounds healing by themselves, he slams his body against hers stronger than before-

@PamLRavenscroft
-pushes a third finger into her pussy, her thumb rubbing her clit as she growls at @LeifNorthman’s increased thrusting, tightening the muscles around his cock, coaxing him to cum, her own orgasm rapidly approaching-

@LeifNorthman
-he comes hard into @PamLRavenscroft’s ass, growling and moaning loudly with the strength of it, continuing his movements until it ends-

@PamLRavenscroft
-feels as @LeifNorthman’s cock swells within her, her pussy clinching around her fingers as his orgasm pushes her to cum. Her hand becoming covered with her juices as she cums again and again-

@LeifNorthman
-he wraps his arms around her, holding @PamLRavenscroft close during and after her orgasm, not pulling out- We should do this more often…

@PamLRavenscroft
-leaning her head back against @LeifNorthman’s chest, she purrs- Yes, I do believe I might be more inclined to attend work if this is my payment for doing so. -chuckles lightly and closes her eyes as she savors the moment in her Maker’s embrace-

@LeifNorthman
Payment, huh? So I can cancel all the credit cards and no more shopping sprees for you. How about that?-playfully bites @PamLRavenscroft’s nose, pulling out of her, he yells for Ginger and suspiciously she knocks on his office less than 30 seconds after that- Ginger, I want this mess cleaned up and @BarFangtasia closed and cleaned. Pam and I will sleep in the basement for the day.

@PamLRavenscroft
-smooths her skirt to cover her ass before the human enters the office, arching a brow in surprise as @LeifNorthman announces their stay in the basement- We are? -smirks as she notices his cock is still hanging out of his pants-

@LeifNorthman
Yes, dawn is too close. How about sharing a coffin? -waggles his eyebrows and makes his way into the basement, passing through Ginger with his cock hanging out-

@PamLRavenscroft
-follows behind @LeifNorthman, amused as Ginger gapes at his exposed cock. Her fingers adeptly removing her clothing once they are in the basement. Eyes studying Leif thoroughly- Oh, I’ll share a coffin with you. If I get the pleasure of rising to find this -wrapping her hand around his cock- in me -kissing him forcefully, licking the remnants of her blood from his lips-

@LeifNorthman
You bet you will -smirks and kisses her back, opens the double sized coffin- Ladies first? -arches an eyebrow at @PamLRavenscroft and peels off every piece of clothing before following her into it-

@PamLRavenscroft
-presses her body to @LeifNorthman, revealing in their closeness- You shouldn’t speak such blasphemy about canceling the credit cards. I might be inclined to have you committed to one of those human facilities for the elderly if you do. -smirks-

@LeifNorthman
-pinches @PamLRavenscroft’s ass and closes the coffin- Shut up, Pam. Let’s sleep.

@PamLRavenscroft
-chuckles and falls into downtime until the sun takes them for the day-

—-

#2

@LeifNorthman
-coffin texts- @PamLRavenscroft needs to lose some weight, she is occupying almost all the coffin and squeezing me to the corner! -facepalm- I would let her sleep on top of me but she is way too heavy and I would lose my breath -snickers- Okay, I will sleep on top. If she complains, I did it in my sleep! -climbs on top of Pam and laughs as she doesn’t move an inch, mumbles- Dead as a doornail…

@PamLRavenscroft
-growls as she wakes to find @LeifNorthman on top of her- Since when do you try to start the fucking while I’m dead? -pushes him off-

@LeifNorthman
-mortified- @PamLRavenscroft I would never do such thing! You are too fat, you were pushing me and smashing me in the corner. I wanted, I needed more space to myself so I climbed on top of you!

@PamLRavenscroft
-growls once more at @LeifNorthman- I’m not fat nor have I ever been. You are the one who outweighs me by over a 100 lbs. -pinches his nipple hard enough to draw blood-

@LeifNorthman
Hey! Look who is starting the fucking now! I feel so helpless -fakes sobs- Look what you did to my nipple! @PamLRavenscroft -growls- fatty!

@PamLRavenscroft
-sinks her fangs in @LeifNorthman’s shoulder savagely, growling as his thick, sweet blood hits her palette, pinching and pulling on his other nipple her fingers sticky with his blood-

(To be continued…)